I Hope You’re Proud

At the end of all of this, I will be proud of myself if I can say these three things:

I imagined myself in another person’s shoes. I closed my eyes and traveled into another’s life, another’s country, another’s skin. I felt their circumstances, fears, and illnesses, their poverty or wealth. Their suffering. I felt what it must be like to be my neighbor. I did everything I could to understand why they believe what they do, even for a minute.

I challenged my own beliefs. I looked myself in the face and said, What if you’re wrong? What if this hurts people? What if there is a better way? Because what good are my beliefs if they are built with blind eyes and a white-knuckle grip? An opinion based only on what I want to be true is just arrogance. The truth is that real values are harder to put into practice than lies and empty promises.

I accepted that no one is perfect. No one knows everything. Neither side is always right.

Narcissism is the inability to acknowledge any flaws. It screams fragility. I will be proud of myself if I can embrace the cracks and fissures in this world, in all humans, in myself, in the truth that I don’t matter more than anyone else.

None of us do.

So, at the end of all of this, the world may crumble.

Vicious hands may reach out, taking our livelihoods and jobs, stealing our majestic National Parks, our social security, our stability, the breath from our lungs, the bread from our hands, the peace from our homes, all in the name of power. In the name of control.

In the name of God.

And I will be proud of myself through it all.

I will imagine the emptiness of their dark souls and wish them the light of generosity and compassion.

I will imagine the hardness of their hearts and wish them the ecstasy of true love.

I will imagine the frantic anxiety of insecurity and wish them the relief of deep self-knowing.

I will imagine the unending ache of knife wounds in their backs and wish them the healing balm of real friendship.

I will imagine the external laughter of fools rich on gold and wish them real wealth. The kind that doesn’t fill your pockets but fills your heart, mind, soul, and skin and builds you castles higher than any tower in the world. It’s the only wealth that can never be taken, and the more you spend, the more you get back. The more you give it away, the more it is returned to you. The only wealth that God actually teaches us is worthy to obtain—love. We never have to worry about losing it because it never runs out. It’s all that really matters.

And it’s the only thing that will save us in the end.

I hope you’re proud, too.